Nostalgia..

...is the way I am reminded of our first kiss as I walk through the blooming magnolias,
the way I think of nothing but the comfort of your arms as I lay alone in my bed.
It is the way I can no longer breathe walking the paths we used to walk together,
how the tears flow to the setting sun on the horizon as I walk home alone.

Nostalgia is the way spring now makes me feel so numb I doubt my own existence at times.

My sad soul

Why does no one just tell me its ok to be sad and then hold my hand through the sadness.
Instead they try their best to change me and in the end blame me for not trying to be happy, when really I am happy, its just that I carry an unmovable sadness inside.
~I bear inside me a sad soul, please don't try and change that, for it is all I know.~

Radio.

'Now my life is sweet like cinnamon

Like a fucking dream I'm living in

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin

'Cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah

Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio

(How do you like me now?)'

-Lana Del Rey

I need to...

~To using the future to escape the present~

She opened her mouth,

but still the air would open her lungs kindly.

For hours, days, months now she had not been able to breathe,

not a single breath that did not tear her apart inside.

"Who are you?"

... She shouted.
"You who goes there with your hands grasping so tightly around my heart?"

For once...

She found herself alone with him one day, she told him to listen as she read a sonnet:
'“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.” 
She looked him straight in the eyes and with a shaky voice said, 'Now do you understand.'