...

Here I have harvested my pain..

Hope it makes you happy.

parents

SERIOUSLY!?

When do parents realise that their children have gotten to the age where they can look after themselves and stop having to feel so protective of them, I mean no disrespect to all those parents out there who try their hardest to look after their children but sometimes enough is enough and it's insane when they still feel the need to control every aspect of the child's life when they reach the age of like 19.... I mean am I not old enough to make my own judgements and choose my own path in life, have I not spent my whole life abiding by your rules and learning everything there is to learn from my parents, the rest is up to me to find out.

What is this control? Why do parents feel the need to have this kind of control on their older children? I mean should they not be waning the kids out of this control? Otherwise how on earth will the kids ever be able to cope on their own?!?!

I hope to god that I never become one of these parents...

C'est cho, ca brule

Okay...

Does the term 'playing with fire' mean anything to you?

It would imply that you're involved in something dangerous whether it be emotionally or physically, but also it could mean you are interacting with or involved in something bad. I happen to enjoy playing with fire when it doesn't hurt anyone but myself. I know for a fact it will eventually get me into trouble but right now I don't mind as long as I'm the only one getting hurt. The only problem is that you can never guaranty that that is so, someone always seems to get caught up in it too and ends up getting more hurt than me. But the intention was never to get anyone else involved maybe thats why its called playing with fire, because it spreads and burns everything around you. But why do I like doing it then? Why does it not remain secret or private? I guess because the benefits are almost immediate and the repercussions don't set in until ages afterwards and only happen if someone else finds out. I seem to be implying that I am doing something extremely bad which I am not, just considering some stuff that could be deemed as playing with fire. At least I'm not feeding the flame or setting fire to anything, yet.

I'm just very confused and tarnished at the moment. I feel like I have been burnt badly by someone else's enjoyment of the flame. This could just all be devils work, and all these fires represent the flames of hell and that its best to steer well clear but they are so enticing and beautiful, they way they flicker and dance.

'Those who play with fire, get burnt'

maybe I want to get burnt, maybe I need to feel the flame one last time before finally putting the fire out completely.

ciao